Audition

The entire audience was focused on me. I wasn't ready. I trembled under it's gaze as I took the stage. I wished I could sink straight through floorboards, or dissapear behind a fast curtain, I'd even be happy if a fire suddenly started and we had to evacuate the building. I just needed something to prevent this audition from happening. 

As I looked at my audience I desperately tried the underwear trick, but I couldn't make myself focus. I could only focus on their eyes. Their eyes were expectant, waiting to judge me. The underwear thing wasn't working. I started to panic, my breath coming in shorter and shorter gasps as my face blanched as all the color drained from my face. I couldn't do this, I needed to get out of here, but just as I was about to walk out, I thought of my best friend. Rea's face was smiling and I could see the encouagement sparkling in her eyes. It was just as if she never left. If she were here I'd be able to do this. 

I would give myself one more try. I took a deep breath and envisioned Rea at the back of the room.  I focused on her, blocking out my audience completely, and worked to stop hyperventilating. This time when I took a deep breath I searched for my character. Eponine was hiding in my head somewhere. I searched through my mind, remembering her objectives and obstacles until I stopped thinking as me and I became her. I was ready now. Maruis had abonded me, left me while he went off with Cozette, that beautiful wonderful girl that a street rat like me could never compare to. I didn't blame him, but that didn't make me feel any better. I opened my mouth to share my feelings with him and to prove to myself that I could do this. I waited for the piano, and then locked my eyes on Rea as I started to sing. 

"And now I'm all alone again,

Nowhere to turn no one to go to,"

In that moment, as I spoke those potent words and stared at my best friend, I forgot all about Eponine. This wasn't about her and Marius, this was about me and Rea. I took that hurt, the betrayal I felt after each excuse she used to avoid seeing me these days, I stole that pent up emotion from the depth of my soul and let it flow into the song. The anger at her avoidance, the sense of loss of my best friend, and finally the acceptance, when I finally understood she didn't want me anymore and stopped bothering her. She had him, she no longer needed me. Gone were the days of watching spongebob and listening to musicals. She'd moved on. It was time for me now, but I couldn't let go. Eponine clung to Marius and I was just as unwilling to give up Rea.

It was with a heart rending sob that I ended the painful experience and and reminded myself, after all the anger and bitterness,

"I love him,

I love him,

I love him,"

and then with a barely audible sigh, 

"but only on my own." 

I realized that I was shaking again and my eyes were moist. I started to see the audience again and to my utter disbelief they all looked awed. Then, as if awakening from a trance, they started to clap.

I left the stage, grateful that my time in the spotlight was over, but feeling sort of empty inside. I stumbled outside the theatre to get some fresh air.  The cool oxygen calmed me. While I was standing there I felt the emptiness start to recede a little bit. I was far from ok, but I figured my experience at the audition was the first step towards letting go. It was by no means painless, but it was a start.

A Box

A box

A simple box

Made only of cardboard.

It is a humble box, meant only for sitting in a corner, just taking up space.

To an adult.

But a kid can see through the box’s clever disguise

A kid knows that the box, which had before contained nothing but air, is really a time machine, a vehicle that can cut through the fourth dimension to take him whenever he wants to go.

Annalise knows that the box is a castle, with a great big dragon guarding the beautiful princess inside.

Jimmy sees a mighty Stallion, a horse too wild to be tamed. He shakes as he approaches.

Elena sees a submarine, to take her to the bottom of the deep blue sea.

Terri sees a tree. Its roots stretching to the bottom of the earth and it’s branches to the sky.

Adam sees one soldier of a mighty army, ready to fight for his Queen.

Mrs. Wilkinson sees nothing but cardboard.

I finally have another post!

I am SOOO sorry about the delay... that really was disgraceful. I have a couple of projects I'm working on, but with school starting I'm going to become much more efficient at procrastinating so if I have any readers left, please bear with me while I try to get a schedule straight. This piece is part of a diary entry of a girl who's summer is ending and she's trying to decide how she feels about some boys she recently met. And she still has a crush at school to deal with aswell. 

          Everyone says that when you light up for a person then you're in love. That makes sense, I mean love means a person that it makes you happy to be around, that doesn't judge you and loves you  for who you are. So if there's a guy that fulfills all these requirements, makes me smile, sees me for who I am and that I miss so much it's almost a physical pain, does that mean I'm in love? What if I only knew him for a week and now we're half a country apart? Now it sounds like I'm describing love at first sight, but that's not it either. I mean, first we just ignored each other, but we became friends when we realized we actually had things to talk about. Still, I never thought about him this much when I saw him every day. So is this love? Will I feel like this when I see him again? Is that how it works? And am I a whore if I feel the same way about another guy? Well that's enough for one night... school will be quite interesting tomorrow...

Acting Camp!

Hi all!

I really appreciate your reading my stories and posts and promise I will have more material for you soon. Unfortunately I will be going the next week without internet connection because I will be in the hills of San Bernadino for an Acting camp- camp Bravo. I am very excited but this but unfortunately it means that I will not be able to post for the next week. But fear not brave readers! I am currently working on a short story about a dragon and his brush with death and I should have that ready soon after I come back!

I will post more soon, but until then don't hesitate to comment on what's already here.
Thank you!

Yearbook

I pick up my high school yearbook. It’s a blue hardbound book. Nothing more. Each person inside is a character. Some are main characters and some supporting, but they all feel. And they all develop. They are all their own main character, each with a story of their own.

Kate is the soccer star, but nobody understands her. They think she is self-centered, cares only about herself.  Thinks soccer is more important than anything else. All she wants are true friends.

Cass is the weird one. She is outgoing and not afraid to express herself. She wears a different crazy outfit every day. The popular girls shun her, but they don’t know that she has friends she trusts and loves.

Evan loves Emily, he has since the fifth grade, but she’s way out of his league.

Emily is popular, and hot, but she’s always felt something is missing.

John is a bully, and his mom has cancer. There’s a reason he calls Jake emo.

Jake wears all black and dyed his hair. His hood is always over his head, but he’s just interested in the culture.

Jessica is a party animal. She needs the alcohol after her best friend killed herself.

Adam is gay. But he’s afraid of his feelings. It’s not until college that he comes out.

Brittney stays up every night, crying for the sister she never had.

I am a writer. I tell their stories. 

I'm back!

Hey guys! For any of you readers, regular or otherwise, I appreciate your patience with me. I've been away with no internet for the past couple of weeks and even before then I haven't been very good about updating. I'm writing more now, so I hope that I can post more often. Bear with me and I'll make it worth your while! Until then, enjoy what I have to offer!

P.S. I'm all about interdependence so if you have a blog you want me to check out I'll support yours in support of mine. Thanks :)

Last Words

Even with the rain stinging her face as she clung to the pole for dear life, she looked beautiful. Her eyes were tightly closed and her red hair was whipping behind her. I wasn't doing too much better myself. I stood at the light post next to hers, across the street. The wind was strong enough that if I tried to cross over to her I would've been blown away. She yelled something, but I couldn't tell what. The wind whipped away everything but my name Evan! I gazed at her with sad eyes, dreading what I had to do next. "I love you!" I screamed as I let go of the pole and the wind pushed me towards the monster that had been giving me nightmares for the past 3 years. I can only pray that she heard.